When Netflix announced a dramedy starring Jane Fonda, Lily Tomlin, Martin Sheen, and Sam Waterston called Grace and Frankie, 9 to 5, Law and Order, and West Wing fans alike squealed with glee. Fonda, who plays Grace, a former CEO and Type A++ force of a woman, and Tomlin, who plays Frankie, a free-thinking artist who loves Del Taco and cannabis, was a dream pairing for 9 to 5 fans, if only country legend Dolly Parton were joining in on the fun. In addition to the comedy tag team was the man with the bushiest eyebrows, Sam Waterston playing Sol, a sensitive lawyer who just loves his life partner, Robert, played by Sheen. Robert is about as serious as Grace, but has a knack for musical theater and is the star of a local LGBTQIA theater. The series is distinguishable for a multitude of reasons. Yet the most distinct aspect of the show is that Grace, Frankie, Robert, and Sol are passing on lessons our elders wish we would listen to as young adults.
As the four individuals coping with love, death, and their professional lives in their late 70s, they intentionally wrote a love letter full of parental advice that young adults may not want to hear, but certainly need to put on a Post-It or vision board. During Grace and Frankie’s seven seasons, the formidable quartet faced a great deal of challenges. With Robert and Sol coming out as a gay couple, Grace and Frankie attempt to discover life after divorce. Whether they are trying to find their soulmate or losing out on love, Grace and Frankie always find a way back to each other. The dynamic duo also become more familiar with the uncomfortable truth that one day we all die. Robert and Sol, on the other hand, encounter different challenges upon their divorce, like coming out later in life while trying to save others from making the same mistakes. As a whole, the quartet also encounters life after retirement while simultaneously getting back to work. The final lesson is one for the kids that are now adults: things may not be alright, and you may not be alright, but maybe one day everything will be alright.
MOVIEWEB VIDEO OF THE DAY
5 Soulmates and Lost Lovers
Netflix
The concept that our friends are our soulmates was introduced by the shoe-loving sage Carrie Bradshaw on the HBO series Sex and the City. While a romantic storyline featuring women over 40 years old is significant, it was crucial for Grace and Frankie to become soulmates. The Huffington Post reports that audiences of romantic comedies or dating-to-marriage reality shows are prone to believe that soulmates always find a way, making the real life pursuit of love quite challenging. When audiences are exposed to a singular story line, any shift away from that storyline can be a shock. So, when Grace remarried Nick Skolka, played by Peter Gallagher, it was critical that her storyline of fulfillment progress in the pursuit of self-fulfillment. After her divorce from Nick, Grace tells Frankie that she wants to be with her true soulmate, Frankie, showing that sometimes our best friends are our soulmates.
MOVIEWEB VIDEO OF THE DAY
MOVIEWEB VIDEO OF THE DAY
MOVIEWEB VIDEO OF THE DAY
Bustle even detailed signs that our true soulmates are our friends. One such sign is having a defining moment that solidifies your connection. For Grace and Frankie, their defining moment lies in the aftermath of Grace trying to reconnect with a lost love. Phil Milstein, played by Sam Elliott, was a contractor whose wife has Alzheimer’s Disease. Alzheimer’s is the most common form of dementia and can impact an individual’s daily life. In many cases, assistance from family is the first step to care, which is Phil’s role in his marriage. Due to his wife not remembering him, he and Grace begin to have a complicated but short affair. Frankie, however, was vocal about how wrong it was, causing a chasm between her and Grace. Eventually, Grace found the affair too difficult to continue, even though she and Phil loved each other deeply. In the aftermath, Frankie was there to help Grace move forward, something a true friend/soulmate does for the person they love.
4 Befriending Death and Angels
A second lesson from Grace & Frankie is to accept the uncomfortable truth that one day you’ll pass on. This truth becomes more apparent as you age, hindering you from the ways you’re used to enjoying your life. In one episode, Grace is put in the awkward situation of navigating online dating. Frankie suggests going to a frozen yogurt place where Grace slips and falls. While this series of events is scary at any age, it becomes increasingly concerning as people age. This is the first brush with death Grace has, causing her to reevaluate how she lives her life. In the final season, the main theme is that Frankie is given three months to live, and as she embraces this finality, Grace voices how uncomfortable she is with possibly living without Frankie. After a horrible fight at Frankie’s funeral, they both are electrocuted. They are then both sitting in a lounge area with only a couch and a coffee table. On the coffee table are pamphlets that read: “So now you’re dead.” As they wait, a door appears, which upon walking through they meet an angel. This angel is blinged out in a way that can only be brought to life by country music trailblazer Dolly Parton. She tells Grace that she is free to return home, but Frankie has to stay.
One of the toughest experiences we navigate through is death. Through the multiple brushes with death both Grace and Frankie remind their fans that death can spark a new beginning. Across the entertainment-scape, a tarot reader will pull the Death card and is literally translated. Yet according to Labyrinthos, the Death card symbolizes transformation, something Grace and Frankie did beautifully. Each challenge the duo overcomes proves that it’s possible to start anew at any age. At the beginning of the series, Grace is determined to remain independent. Though by the end of the series, she is vulnerable and willing to put herself out there as long as Frankie is by her side. She experiences the largest transformation of the main characters, eventually accepting that she may have to live without Frankie.
3 Coming Out Later in Life
The overarching narrative of Robert and Sol’s story in Grace & Frankie is the power of coming out later in life. When they decide to get married, their four children plan a bachelor party at the house. Brianna convinces Mallory, Nwabudike, and Coyote to get a mechanical penis, like a mechanical bull, for the party. Despite everyone enjoying themselves, a former lawyer friend named Nelson calls Robert the F-slur. As Robert raises his fist, Sol holds him back and Nelson leaves. Coming out is a continuous journey that each individual does in accordance to their comfort levels. In Robert and Sol’s case, their coming out sparked the end of two marriages and several friendships. Whether those endings were out of hatred or not, coming out can be met with love and acceptance. In Season 4, Episode 4, Robert and Sol meet their new neighbor, Oliver. Robert notices some of Oliver’s behavior and against Sol’s wishes, asks Oliver, played by Scott Evans, if he is gay. The tension is palpable between the neighbors until Season 5, Episode 5, where Oliver comes out to Robert and Sol, who are accepting and understanding of embracing his true self.
In past LGBTQ+ TV shows, when a character came out, it held the gravity of someone smoking cigarettes or cannabis. The entire episode, or episodes, revolved around that character being bullied, both physically and verbally by peers and adults. While television has made great strides in casting gay actors to play gay characters, like Grace and Frankie did with Oliver, it’s important to note that coming out typically follows Oliver’s storyline rather than Robert and Sol’s. In addition to Oliver being embraced by the wizened gays, he eventually finds his niche in the gay community. Regardless of the reaction, the main lesson from Robert, Sol, and Oliver is that coming out and living your truth is, and should be, a beautiful and unique process. Everyone deserves to live a full life regardless of whom they love.
2 CEO, Artist, and Lawyer: Retirement Faux Pas
A final lesson from both parents is to embrace your career’s evolution. Much of the discussion around employment often blames the younger generations for trying various paths before finding their own instead of staying in one job for decades, regardless of enjoyment. The ideas of being versatile as a potential employee are brilliantly written in Grace and Frankie. In fact, Robert and Sol retired from their law practice to take up small hobbies like musical theater and working part-time as a consultant. For their collective children, they become mentors and guides in the next steps of career evolution. Nwabudike, who takes over their law firm, often doubts his abilities as a lawyer and his career trajectory. One heartfelt moment between Sol and Nwabudike is when Sol asks his son if he really regrets being a divorce lawyer.
Another brilliantly written career shift was when Grace left her role as CEO, giving the company to Brianna. Though she made a name for herself in the beauty world, Grace and Frankie attempt to re-enter the corporate world. First, they try selling vibrators aimed at women with arthritis. After the company is bought by Nick Skolka, Grace and Frankie try to find funding for a toiler for elderly people. They even went on Shark Tank to get funding! Frankie, before being a CEO, was an aspiring artist who, supposedly, sold a painting to Kenny Loggins. She is full of business ideas, but Grace quickly shuts her down as the ideas are not lucrative. Whether you’re just starting out, happy in your career, or looking to try a new career, the advice from Grace, Frankie, Sol, and Robert is to embrace your professional journey just as you embrace your personal journey.
1 The Kids are Not Alright… but Maybe They Will Be
Whether intentional or not, the ultimate mom and dad lesson of “you’ll be alright” occurs throughout Grace & Frankie. Brianna, Grace and Robert’s eldest daughter, is described as mean and scary. Like her mother, she is fiercely independent. Even her romance with Barry, played by Peter Cambor, is a lifelong engagement because she does not believe in marriage. Mallory, Grace and Robert’s youngest daughter, is referred to as the “nice one” and is the only woman in her immediate family who enjoys being a mother. However, after her twins are born, her marriage falls apart, and she practically begs her sister for a job, only to be promoted to Brianna’s supervisor.
Nwabudike, Sol and Frankie’s youngest adopted son, is possibly the most stable of the four adult children. Well into his career as a lawyer, he meets a woman named Allison, with whom he marries and has a child. Though he is prone to anxiety, he discovers that he needs some joy from his depressing career. He is the only child to take to the stage as a stand-up comedian. Coyote, the eldest adopted son of Frankie and Sol, begins as the most unstable. After a final stint in rehab, he is able to rebuild his life. He eventually proposes to his girlfriend and when his parents assume he is going to spiral, he becomes rightfully upset. Coyote points out that he has no desire to escape the stress of his wedding by using alcohol or drugs nor does he need rescuing. Between all the adult children, they persevere and are able to rely on their parents but mostly on themselves and each other. In the finale of the series, it’s quite clear that the kids are alright.
